The Heart of Humanity: From Mentor to Mentorship with Kitty Ko

Some people don’t build communities by declaring themselves leaders. They do it by noticing what’s missing — and then quietly doing the work to fill the gap. Kitty Ko is one of those people.

When I sat down with Kitty, what stood out wasn’t her résumé — Asian health advisor, PhD candidate, long-time connector across Aotearoa — but her devotion to relationships. Not networking as performance, but connection as responsibility.

Kitty’s journey isn’t linear. It’s a living thread, woven through service, illness, study, mentorship, and the steady choice to keep showing up.

Long before smartphones, social media, or professional branding, Kitty wrote a handwritten letter to a psychiatrist. She asked for help creating psycho-education for Chinese communities affected by mental distress. He said yes. Another academic said yes. Then, young psychology graduates said yes. Most importantly, people with lived experience and their families said yes.

That act of courage became Yan Oi Sei — not an institution or a polished programme, but a place of care. Weekly groups. Shared learning. Family support. Belonging.

One moment captures Kitty’s philosophy perfectly: a European service user painted the Chinese characters for the group’s signage. He didn’t read the language, but he understood the meaning. This mattered.

Culture matters. Connection matters. People matter.

Like many working in large systems, Kitty also experienced silence. As a young practitioner in mainstream mental health services, she emailed management asking why there was no Asian mental health service. No reply. No acknowledgement. Just quiet.

Years later, she discovered that the message had travelled through the system, sparked conversations, and contributed to the eventual creation of services.

Her lesson is gentle but powerful: sometimes silence isn’t dismissal. Sometimes it’s slow machinery turning. Sometimes your message lands even when no one replies.

For Kitty, leadership has never been about hierarchy. It’s about bringing people together to make something better.

Fourteen years ago, she created a network so Asian health workers could connect and support one another. It began internally and slowly grew into a nationwide community — hundreds of people across Aotearoa sharing resources, opportunities, ideas, and care.

It isn’t a one-way webinar or a platform for visibility. It’s a living forum. Conversations turn into collaborations. Presentations become action. People don’t just consume information — they participate.

The impact shows in who the network attracts: young graduates unsure where they belong, migrants navigating unfamiliar systems, students seeking experience, researchers seeking participants, clinicians wanting to learn, and community workers needing allies.

Kitty can’t promise jobs. What she offers is often just as valuable: guidance, clarity, introductions, and hope.

Much of her leadership comes from the mentorship she received. She speaks with emotion about people who didn’t just supervise her work — they cared about her life.

Mentors like Dr Sai Wong, Dr Samson Tse, Sue Lim, Dr Elsie Ho, and others didn’t treat her as a project. They worried about her health. They encouraged her to finish her Master’s. They stayed beside her through divorce, dialysis, and the long grind of study while surviving chronic illness.

That kind of mentorship changes you. It’s not about professional polish. It’s about human commitment.

And now Kitty offers that same care forward — meeting people face to face when she can, learning who they are, remembering details, making thoughtful connections. She treats relationships as lifelong, not transactional.

One of the most demanding chapters of Kitty’s life unfolded largely unseen. She worked full-time while on peritoneal dialysis.

By the end, she was doing five treatments a day. Before work. At lunch. After work. Before dinner. Before bed. And again at 3:00 a.m.

This lived experience now sits at the centre of her PhD research. Kitty studies treatment burden in peritoneal dialysis, especially for younger women — a group often invisible in research that collapses ages into broad categories.

Life stage matters.

A young woman on dialysis may face cultural expectations around marriage, children, work, and identity. A mother may keep working not because she’s well, but because her family depends on her. Māori and Pasifika women may choose dialysis schedules that protect whānau connection, while others may prioritise independence.

These differences aren’t minor. They shape how people survive.

Kitty’s goal is to act as a bridge between patients and professionals — translating what systems often miss, having lived on both sides.

She is clear about what made survival possible for her: flexibility at work, supportive colleagues, and clinicians who trusted her judgement.

Trust wasn’t a luxury. It was essential.

When health professionals treated her as a whole person — asking how she was, sitting beside her like a friend, believing her — she could endure what might otherwise have broken her.

The relationship, she says, is everything.

Near the end of our conversation, I asked Kitty what she would say to her younger self.

Her answer was simple and honest.

Don’t give up on your dream. Even if it takes years. Even if your path isn’t smooth. Even if you’re afraid to tell people what you’re doing because you might fail.

She remembers failing most of her first-year papers. Choosing subjects that didn’t fit. Feeling unsure. But she kept going — because she found what she loved, and because stubbornness paired with purpose can outlast talent.

She also remembers her grandfather, who bought her a pen and believed she could study. That belief travelled with her across time and became fuel.

Kitty Ko’s story isn’t just about dialysis, a network, or a PhD.

It’s about the kind of humanity that doesn’t seek applause.

It’s the email that changes a system years later.
The space created before there’s funding.
The mentor who says, “I can’t give you everything, but I can help you think.”
The understanding that dignity isn’t a concept — it’s a practice.

Kitty Ko doesn’t just talk about community.

She builds it — one relationship at a time.

Full Podcast: The Heart of Humanity: From Mentor to Mentorship with Kitty Ko — A Journey of Truth