A Fight to Be My Authentic Self: A Journey of Finding Who Ivan Is
In this special episode, Shelwin Khan flips the script. Instead of hosting, I step into the guest seat and share the story behind the voice of this podcast.
We talk about my journey from Southeast Asia to New Zealand, navigating identity, sexuality, culture, and belonging. I open up about my first love, growing up with childhood trauma, and what it was like having a father who is a gangster. I reflect on how studying sociology as an international student changed the trajectory of my life and helped me see the world — and myself — differently.
We also explore my path into mental health, becoming one of the first paid peer support professionals at Mind and Body, and what that experience taught me about recovery, resilience, and authenticity.
This is a candid conversation about identity, survival, burnout, forgiveness, and the ongoing journey of finding who Ivan truly is.